my heart is broken

this is such a sad post. my sister has some friends, Leigh and Dayne who i have know pretty much as long as she has. however they live in austin so i don't see them much. they are about the funniest people i have ever met. they should have been a comedy act b/c they play off each other like nothing i have ever seen. for years they have been trying to have a baby. after years of trying and nothing, they decided to try invitro. well leigh's eggs were just not working. so they "borrowed" someone elses. (btw makes me so want to give up my eggs). they got pregnant!!! so excited!!! saw them in march when i was in austin. my sister and i went to have lunch with them. leigh was glowing. really!!! like she had a person carrying a light to shine on her. it was so awesome to see her like that! (forget the grackles) and i was so privileged to be one of the few people who found out the name! DASH!!! HOW AWESOME! in april leigh was delivered of a beautiful, healthy boy!! i found out today, that he died on saturday. ( my heart is wrenching just typing this!!!!!!!) dayne was changing his diaper and he went stiff then limp. leigh ran next door where an OB lives. he could not find a pulse. Dash was gone. how is this possible!!!!????!!! how can a couple who has only wanted to be parents for years, have to go through something like this? im sobbing. my heart hurts so much for them. i don't know what to say or do.

i do know i have a God who loves and has that sweet baby in his arms right now. i can't understand. but i can pray for the peace that passes all understanding. please pray with me for this couple who is going through the worst pain i'm sure a person can go through.

The Pinterest Project Hit or Miss Monday

so my friend miranda, and her friend jamie, over at http://pinterest-project.blogspot.com/ do a super fun thing called hit or miss monday. they wanted to know what mine were so here they are!

my hit...



and my miss...



i don't even know what to say about this. it's so disturbing on so many levels....

i ♥ my boys!

so last night the fam watched Diary of a Wimpy Kid Rodrick Rules. mikey and i have already seen it but i thought it was worth watching again. and i was right! Greg is the middle brother and is constantly picked on my his big brother and blamed for everything his little brother does. really my issue is the big brother Rodrick. he really is a jerk. he is mean to Greg in so many ways. and just watching that movie made me realize how blessed i am with my boys. don't get me wrong. they do have their moments. but for the most part, they really love and respect each other. during the movie caleb got into the big blue chair and within 15 minutes mikey was right there next to him. they stayed that way thru the whole movie. just hanging. loved it! i really hope and pray that they will continue to be close their whole lives

which makes me want to say sorry to my sis for constantly beating her up. sorry melissa! i'm glad you were able to get over that and that we can be such great friends.

here's a clip of the movie. it really is great! not just for kids!!

why oh why???

why oh why do i let other people get me down? i have some "friends" at church. but i guess they aren't really friends. if i only see them once a week and on FB i'm thinking that doesn't actually make them my friend. but i thought they were. tried to make a coffee date with one of them and found out she went and had coffee with another "friend". just makes me so mad. am i not worthy of coffee????? am i too needy???? when am i going to get over my self doubt? when am i EVER going to see my true worth??? why do i CARE what people think of me??? (why do i use more than one ???) i am a great friend. and if they can't see that them screw them. i live with all males. i need some time with females. to just talk about girl stuff. oh not have to hear guitars, loud music, sports, or pokemon. so i'm upset. i unfriended them. and several other "friends".

i guess mikey's "stomach" issues are getting me down. b/c he won't let me leave him, i have had to skip book club, date night and just some me time. i know it will pass but man! separation anxiety at 8? uggh!

i really have very little to complain about. co-op started and i just love going! there are some super fabulous women in there that i just adore and make me want to become a better person. michael is working!! and i got job teaching elementary anatomy and physiology once a week for the whole school year. nice money with it. getting our finances in order. hoping to pay off some bills before the end of the year and my car a year early. and maybe (MAYBE) save enough to hit Disney before mikey turns 10!!