i have this great friend cathy. i love her dearly. she is one of my best friends. and has been for a long time. we have great conversations, love lots of the same things and she is always there for me. (and i hope i am for her) but i have a problem. her husband tim is the leader of the band that i have been in for 3 years. tim and i had a fight a few months ago and it was pretty ugly. but we kissed and made up and now i'm back in the band. and i think cathy is upset about it. i don't know if she is mad at me for going back or at tim for letting me back in. and really it was kinda done behind her back. because i didn't want her to get mad about it.
see she is good. i mean really good. and not like look at me i'm better than you good. just good. and she encourages me to be a better person just because she is so good. and i don't want her to be upset with me. but i love being in this band. not just because i get to sing but because i feel like this is what God wants me to do. it's hard sometimes because i have 2 kids and have to get sitters and i get stressed about that occasionally. and she knows that. so what do i do. do i talk to her about it? or just pretend like i don't think she is mad at me? lest said soon mended and all that?
any ideas?
i don't want to lose her a friend but i don't want to step out of the band either.
*sigh*
4 comments:
oh no....im sorry you're still having issues with this.... i'm not sure. i think maybe wait it out just a bit and see what comes of it. what i dont understand is WHY she would be bothered by it. one, you're a better singer, so it's good for the band. two, you're her friend, so she should be happy for you. three, it doesn't effect her. so...what's the deal?
i think let it lie for a while maybe it isn't about you at all. and you just feel self-conscious about it. either let her come to you with her issues or ignore it and maybe it'll pass. my 2cents for what it is worth.
plus i generally think it is a bigger deal than it is and make things worse by confronting, when if I'd ignored it, it would pass.
see if this one passes.
Give it a chance to blow over, however, if she continues to be passive aggressive about it then ask her what's up. I have a very good friend who gets this way sometimes and I ask her straight out, "you're making me feel like you are mad at me and I wish you would tell me what's on your mind because I don't like this weirdness. Sometimes she opens up and other times she denies she's mad until a later date and we are usually laughing about it.
I don't care how good she is, nobody is above getting petty and pissy now and again -- give her a chance to be human, but don't eat dirt if she holds on too long.
hope it's resolved by the time I write this even -- didn't check the date on this.
--Kim
thanks everyone. i am just acting like nothing is wrong. hopefully she will get over it! cause i am worth having as a friend!!:)
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